We have long been fans of Lin Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton Musical. I’m pretty sure the kids from Lucy on up can sing the entirety of the show (well, maybe not the entirety. There are some less than appropriate bits that have been kept from the playlist.) from heart and Pen knows a good portion of it, too. And we found out on our way home from the lake on Sunday that Gus has a few songs under his belt.
Anyway. . .
I’ve been on this loop in my mind for the last week. It goes something like this:
Oh jeez! What about fair?!
I’m tired just thinking about it.
Wait. There is no fair, remember?
And this is where Hamilton fits in.
When we meet George Washington, things aren’t looking so good for the Revolution. The General is drawn, tired and overwhelmed. He’s in “dire need of assistance.” He sings:
Can I be real a second?
For just a millisecond?
Let down my guard and tell the people how I feel a second?
And THAT’S how my mental loop ends – singing those lines and then sighing: THANK THE LORD! I am so relieved. That makes me feel silly since this year is the year of not a lot happening and free schedules and such. But it’s also the year of being worn out and too much and overwhelm.
Perhaps its also the fact that last summer was awful. I felt it then – felt it in the depths of my bones, in the sluggishness of my body and the empty, fogginess of my head. But now, here on the other side of that I can see just how miserable I was post surgery/nursing/exhausted. And yet we didn’t stop and we did allthethings. I think somewhere in there lingers the, “Oh, no! Not again!” burned part of my psyche. So, in all honesty, guard down and as real as I can be, I am relieved. Slightly disappointed for the kids as it’s yet another thing changed and different in this COVID world, yes, but still so grateful. Looking back to last August I see we never got fair photos up. *see above about my tiredness*
So I’ll leave those here, memories of better and, simultaneously, not so good times. Next year, God willing, we will be back. We will “RISE UP!” like Hamilton, like the colonists, like the Revolution. But can I be real a second? I’m glad we have another year.