To be filed under “Do Not Forget!” in the event of future guilt trips and/or the blessing of another baby.
At 11 months and a handful of days, Lucy does not sleep. It’s been this way for a while, actually, but I think her lack of sleep is compounding with my lack of sleep and therefor feels dire. Overwhelming. End of the world.
Is it because I boasted while she was an infant that she could sleep anywhere and through anything? Darn me and my big mouth!
It crept in slowly, and in my sleep deprived state, I didn’t have the strength/where-with-all/desire to stop it. She began to only nurse in our room, door shut, her and I. Secretly I think it was God’s way of giving me a break from the constant NOISE of the house. Then it was a refusal to fall asleep without nursing. Or to sleep anywhere that wasn’t the swing. And then anywhere away from me. That morphed into not falling asleep EVER and
here
we
are.
Ugh. Mama Syd reminded me this summer that I once said I could handle just about anything as long as I could get them to nap together. It’s true. Or rather, was true. I haven’t seen synchronized naps in months and I’m still hanging in there. By a thread, admittedly, but I’m hanging!
It might be an easier pill to swallow if it wasn’t for the extreme effort it takes to get her to sleep only to have ANYTHING (*a moth sneezes in a mitten* WAH!!! “Lucy’s awake!”) wake her up. I can be driven to hysterics over a stray sunbeam dancing on the crib or someone dropping a water bottle on the way downstairs. It isn’t pretty.
Add to this a five-year-old who, out of sheer willfulness, is constantly exhausted and a toddler who wants to party with said 5-year-old and anyone over 7 who realizes the window a little quiet time can afford for them and mom and there is no silence or rest to be found in this joint.
Excuse me while I drink myself into a stupor . . .
Saturday Jac was away at VSI and the kids and I prepared for an evening of company. Lucy didn’t sleep and wink until she simply ran out of gas at 5 pm. And it wasn’t for a lack of trying! Anyway, She slept 6 hours straight that night and I woke up Sunday feeling brand new. It’s amazing what a few hours will do for you! Now if only my kids would learn that . . .
