The Olympics are over, THANKS BE TO GOD.
Okay, okay – I will miss them. And CNBC’s “Return to London” marketing scheme is nothing short of genius. I have always thought the Olympics should run on in reruns and we have been taking full advantage of the brilliance as a post-naptime-blues cure.
BUT, I’m glad the hype is over. Mainly because the Olympic spirit fever has run it’s course in these parts. The creed, which has been written on the board for the duration of the games, clearly states: “The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.” Here? Well it’s all about the winning. And believeyoume, they have fought so very well. EVERYTHING is a race and the outcomes and victors are always challenged and contested. Defeat is the bitterest and there has been a good deal of unsportsmanlike conduct up in here. It’s wearing on my nerves.
To top it all off, my inner monolgue has turned into a sports announcer voice and styling. I hear Tim Dagget and Elfi Schlegel and Al Trautwig calling and reflecting on all of my actions. I’m pretty sure it means I’m going crazy.
“Here is Annie Daniel in the final round of nap time sleep.” “Yes, Al, she’s had a rough day so far. this is her third and final attempt at laying Gemma down and keeping her asleep. She really has to get this hand off to stick if she wants a solid two-hour sleep.” “Gemma’s eyes have been closed now for two minutes and you can see the fatigue in Annie’s shoulders and arms – she’s been bouncing her a long time and the clock is ticking. And here comes the lay down. . . Can she do it?!” “The tension in the room is palpable, Tim.” *** WAAAHH!!!*** “Oh! So close! This is heartbreaking, just heartbreaking.”
“This is Gemma Daniel in the Gold Medal match of sleep fighting.” “She’s in rare form today, isn’t she Elfi?” “You know, she really is. I haven’t seen such tanacity before. I mean, just look at that arch in her back and those wide open eyes – Oh my goodness! There goes the paci!” “Whoa! I did NOT see that coming!” “And wouldn’t you say that has been her strategy all through this round, Tim? The element of surprise?” “Indeed. It’s performances like this that are truly the stuff of champions.”
This is in my head all the time, folks. It’s annoying to me, too. I wouldn’t mind the Star Spangled Banner and a medal each time I get a load of wash folded, the sink emptied or a diaper changed, though. I’d could be happy with a wildly cheering crowd. Or even a modest golf clap. I’m going to go and ask Jac to interview me about my performance today. I might even replay things slo-mo style for him.
