I like to be prepared – it’s a part of my personality; I’ve taken the test so it’s official. I like a plan and when appropriate a plan B. If knowledge is power, I want a hemi dura-max diesel ifyouknowwhatImean.
That’s why I read every baby/nursing/childcare book/blog/website/magazine I could get my hands on before Max was born. I POURED over them, not wanting to be surprised. HA! The thought . . . !
When it was Philip’s turn, we studied birthing like mad and practiced, practiced, practiced. The adjective to use here would be intense.
And it works. For me. Sometimes for us, but mainly for me. Jac loves me for it – or more rightly, in spite of it.
Anyway, with each child has come an abundance of things we were unprepared for. After all, that’s what makes you a parent, right? That refining fire of the “What the-?!?!” moments. But the milestones? We had those. We knew when they should turn over and smile and crawl and eat and we mapped them all. Babies, it turns out are easy.
Now we are in uncharted territory. The milestones no one mentions or perhaps don’t notice but all monumental all the same.
Things like first phobias. Tonight Ellie pierced our eardrums with a scream unlike any other over the SIGHT of a spider. It was traumatic.
Or stitches. We’ve been there, done that, yes, but it was an unknown marker on the road. Same with cavities and -knock on wood!- broken bones and surgeries. (I won’t go into the dread that filled my throat when Max came in clutching his right side tonight and said, “Mom? I feel like I have a stomach ache here except it’s not my stomach.” Appendectomy!!! Gah! But, Mama Syd, it wasn’t.)
Tonight though, TONIGHT I am celebrating the positive milestones. Things that have snuck up on us but have made and will continue to make life so much easier. Things like when they are finally able to take a shower by themselves. Or cook dinner FOR EVERYONE (supervised, yes, but still). Or wrap gifts. Sure the presents for Ellie’s party were not super fancy, but the fact that I could delegate the task to Max while I made the last minute cupcakes? WONDERFUUUUUUL!* *sung
When they are babies and they smile or wave or coo, there is always a little tear mingled with the cheers and adoration. The baby is growing up! And yet, these things? These things that really do mark a huge change on the road of growth? I just want to crow about them. Wrap myself up in them and roll around.
It feels soooooo good.
Someday I will mark them with the appropriate desolation, and remark about the days being long and the years being short and ponder at the march of time.
Just not tonight.