Recently, I have come to the conclusion that my kids must see me as someone entirely different than who I really am.
While you might expect the person that they mistake me to be to be (I’ve written and re-written the last four words 7 different ways. Not sure how to fix it . . . ) a short order cook, maid, or teacher (ha! I wish!), it is not.
My children think I am a superhero.
It sounds glamorous? It’s not. The reason being is that they think I’m a superhero because they assume/demand/expect me to do things that are PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Therefore, they must think I have super-human abilities. How else could it be explained?
For example, while I am nursing, talking on the phone, and making dinner SIMULTANIOUSLY, they manage to appear.
“Mom? Mom. Mom! MOM!! Can you fill my water bottle?”
I point to the three things I’m doing at the moment and bulge my eyes at them. I hold up a single finger to tell them I’ll be with them in just a moment. Meanwhile, the stool stands ready at the sink for them to take care of their own business but . . .
“I’m sooooo thirsty-y-y-y!!!!” Their parched little throats wail.
Or, I can have the diaper bag on my shoulder, Ellie in the car seat on one arm, grocery bags on the other and the mail in my hand.
“Mom? Mom. Mom!MOM!! Can you carry this/my blankie/me?”
When I laugh and point out that they only two arms I have are full in case they hadn’t noticed, I am met with stunned expressions. Can’t they do it themselves? The answer is a resounding ‘NO.’
“But why can’t yo-o-o-o-u?”
Obviously, this unnerves me. I hate having to point out the obvious as it makes me feel ignored and unnoticed. In those moments, I am a tool that is not working the way they need it to and I feel keenly the lack of respect.
But from the other side, I see that they think I can handle it all at once. I am Mom. Why shouldn’t I be able to do it all AND leap over buildings in a single bound?
Do you think they’d notice if I got myself a cape?