Hello. My name is Tess. My family calls me Bru-Tess, Tess-the-Mess, Tess the Tank. Let me explain.
I like to destroy stuff. Especially things that don’t belong to me. It’s one of my gifts. Just yesterday, while unattended (mom’s a slacker and doesn’t feel well. Not a good combo.) I broke a stapler (with my bare hands), unrolled 3 new guitar strings, pulled all the stiches out of moms knitting project and unraveled some yarn, scattered Max’s legos to Kingdom Come and tore 3 pages out of our favorite, giant book, Skippyjohn Jones.
*Sigh* It’s hard work being me.
Really, I like things that are not mine. Sometimes I go for Mama’s makeup – I llike that. Another favorite is the art bin with paints under the boy’s bed. Mama’s purse is cool, too. I love books so much I can’t help but rip the pages or tear off the little peek-a-boo flaps. My brother’s artwork is good for that purpose as well. The most exciting moments are when I can unravel an entire roll of toilet paper or color my jammies and bed and Philip and his bed with a dry-erase marker (they don’t come out of clothes!!! Awesome.).
My role models are Attila the hun and Hagar the Horrible (I know Hagar is imaginary, but I dig his unkept hair. I rock that look, too.). Hopefully mom will keep you updated on my latest conquests.
*** Mothers note: The above statement is true and factual. Several items were harmed in the making of this post.
This is incredible!! I laughed hard for about 5 minutes because I think I was probably the same…you’ll have to ask my mom.